S
Putting on socks can become increasingly problematic for pensioners and may eventually require the services of a full-time sock and spat valet. To prevent such an intrusive and expensive situation arising, the simplest alternative is to paint your feet and part of your calves with an acceptable sock colour. If you’re uncomfortable with this remedy, permanently starched socks with gussets are available from specialist suppliers, and these can be left at the side of the bed overnight and slipped into the following morning without any need to bend or pull.
Similar difficulties can be experienced by wearers of stockings and tights, particularly elderly armed robbers, who may find it virtually impossible to remove tights from their head after queuing in a bank or building society for a lengthy period of time.