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Research has shown that the duration and loudness of snoring increases with age and one in seven pensioners is likely to exhibit stertorous activity for more than four hours per night and reach decibel levels equivalent to that of a Vulcan bomber taking off at a distance of 400 yards (0.37 kilometres).
Although commercially produced remedies are available, there is little evidence that any of these are effective and traditional treatments such as inserting carrots into the nostrils, inflating a beach ball in the oral cavity, encasing the head in egg boxes or nailing the snorer’s tongue to the ceiling are just as likely to work.
Apart from sleeping with a snake, musical pillows and persistent duvet snaffling, snoring is the single most common reason for spouses and partners sleeping in separate bedrooms (or in severe cases, sleeping in separate houses, counties or space-time dimensions).
That said, snoring can sometimes be melodious and inspiring, as evidenced by Ottorino Respighi’s Vibratio di Uvula, which was based on the snoring of his neighbour in Bologna, Reg Presley’s Shepton Palate, the sadly neglected B-side of Love is All Around and The Poor Snore More by Rikki and the Last Days of Earth, which became the unofficial anthem of poll tax protestors during the riots of 1990.