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Carol singers in pairs and under the age of thirteen should always be welcomed and rewarded. However, this does not apply to large groups from churches or local voluntary organisations, who stand in the middle of the road or arrive on a nativity-bedecked cart hauled by a tinsel-bedecked horse. These uninvited interlopers, particularly if singing descants or using tunes you don’t recognise, can be turned away with impunity. Usually, asking how a virgin birth works is enough to make them go away, although on occasions, such enquiries can lead to your car being trashed or a large portion of your buddleia being broken off.