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Meat can be used to create countless delicious, nutritious dishes, but sadly, it is now so expensive that most pensioners can only afford the cheapest cuts or microscopically small portions. That said, a piece of pork fillet the size of a 50p piece can easily feed two pensioners for a week – as long as it is bulked out with less expensive staples such as cabbage, lard, gravel and disposable razors.
Offal is another economical alternative pensioners should explore. For instance, stylish pates and terrines can be made from chicken livers, pigeon hearts and lamb kidneys, while less commonly used items such as cow’s ear, marmoset hair and armadillo scales all feature on the menus of some of the most respected restaurants in the world.
Tripe should never be eaten and is best left to air-dry in the open for several weeks, after which it can be safely used to clean windows and line snow shoes.