D
Thanksgiving Day is a traditional American festivity, held the fourth Thursday of November, to celebrate the noble founding principles of the country’s constitution. The most abiding of these are the inalienable right to
Shoot lots of schoolchildren whenever you feel so inclined
Nail black people to a roof while wearing a funny hat
Pay through the nose to have your sinuses unblocked
Vote for crooks, charlatans, simpletons and egomaniacs
Eat everything, including soup, with a fork
Include every major city’s name in at least seven different songs
Only play terminally tedious sports in which the statistics are more interesting than the game itself
Make films featuring Ben Stiller