D
Daffodils are the iconic harbingers of Spring and almost 78% of UK pensioners have them in their gardens.
The secret to success where these ubiquitous flowers are concerned is to plant the bulbs as deeply as possible and ensure optimum drainage by incorporating plenty of grit, gravel or horticultural bibble and gooley This may involve hiring an industrial digger to excavate to the required depth of 12-15 feet (3.67–4.58 metres) and could also inadvertently undermine the foundations of your house and cause it to collapse.
Flowering can be greatly enhanced by lifting the bulbs every 2-3 years (this means digging them up rather than using them as exercise weights) and replanting in a freshly prepared crater with a 3–4 feet (0.91–1.22 metres) layer of well-rotted seaweed, hand-powdered asbestos or biodegradable poppycock.
Daffodils should never be picked from the garden for indoor display as there are plenty available to borrow from public parks, hedgerows, churchyards and vergers (or verges if the former are not available).
The daffodil is the national flower of Wales, where it is known as the dyfedil, or colloquially, as the taffydil.