4
4G is a communications technology that allows you to do all sorts of pointless things on your mobile phone, such as discovering the times of high tide in Fishguard, sharing photos of Martin Amis, alerting your dog to the arrival of the evening paper and tracking down a local tradesman to saw off your legs.
At present, 4G is only available in Wandsworth (including the prison) and three streets adjacent to the Etihad Stadium in Manchester, but it is expected to be accessible nationwide by 2016, shortly after the introduction of 5G.
BG is the equivalent technology for people with unnaturally high voices.
GG is the equivalent technology for horses with mobile phones.
MG is the equivalent technology for car phones.
PG is the equivalent technology for tea drinkers.
RG is the equivalent technology for people in Buenos Aires.
WG is the equivalent technology for people called Grace.